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I wish that I could fix myself like Wall-e and just sit in the sun for a while.
I threw my back out. Again. On my first day as a nanny. And not even doing anything important. I lifted the little boy just fine. It wasn't that. It was so stupid. Just an everyday movement. Argh. So I've been sitting at home this week, recovering. Spent Monday afternoon in the ER...same as the first time, couldn't move my legs or sit up on my own. Luckily, this time I am healing much faster, and should be returning to work on Monday. The family I work for is being extremely understanding, which is a big relief.
The bad news is...I went to an orthopedist and now have to have an injection of steroids and pain medication directly into my hip. Something I have been against since I first had a back injury in high school. Which, by the way, this orthopedist thinks may have contributed to my current problem, since I don't have any disk problems and the pain is originating in the back of my hip area. I am absolutely, 100% terrified for this injection. But at this point, the biggest concern is that I need to work, and in order to work, I need these episodes to stop. So I will have this stupid injection. Even if I cry and embarrass myself in front of doctors and nurses alike. I mean, maybe it will prepare me for having an epidural someday. I guess that's a silver lining. Sort of.
I'm also going to start seeing someone to talk about everything that has been going on. It's gotten to the point where I don't feel like I can handle all of this bad luck by myself anymore. And as much as I enjoy blogging, it doesn't really help to divulge all my fears and anxieties on the internet. I've been avoiding it lately, which I think means I need to talk to someone. And so I gave in and agreed to see a therapist in my doctor's office. I honestly think what will really help me feel happy and myself again will be fix my back and have stable work, but I guess talking to someone about this whole year wouldn't hurt either.
And you know, watching Disney movies always helps just a little too. Especially accompanied by my giant Stitch.
I carried him through the Magic Kingdom that night and got stares from everyone, especially jealous little kids. He makes me happy. :)